I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
