So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
