What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
