Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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