somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
