This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
