He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
