Whod you bang
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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