Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
