Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
