Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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