he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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