McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
