ugly people sure do ruin things
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
