i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
