Bisexual people are plain selfish.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
