You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
