i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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