Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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