ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
