Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Green mimosas i think yes
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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