I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize