Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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