just tell him i said nine months
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
