Only a mothe r could love this liver
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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