Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
