Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
