Jerry, you need to find god
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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