how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize