The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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