Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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