shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
