I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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