This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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