we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
