can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
