so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
