lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
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