Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
