Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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