I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
