i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
