update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
