hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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