I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
