Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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