Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
