I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
