I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I will pee on everything he values.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
