"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
