rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
