happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
