Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
