Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
